I think Bug had a rough day today.
I know I did.
Today really was the peak, and subsequent breaking point of
a rough week.
Add to that, two nights of very little sleep, and you make for a very emotional and fed up mama.
Add to that, two nights of very little sleep, and you make for a very emotional and fed up mama.
I felt completely
used up, as if I did not have one ounce in me left to give.
I spent most of the day in tears.
The last few days I
have found myself blankly going through the motions: change Bug, feed Bug, change Badger, feed Badger, followed by constantly rocking and bouncing
both of them until it’s time to start the cycle all over again. I can manage to
steal moments here and there to throw in a load of laundry or make a sandwich,
but in general, these babies are pretty high maintenance. Although,who’s babies aren’t?
The most frustrating moments are when I have
them both finally asleep, and the simple act of me leaving the room will wake
them. I spend so much time just sitting
on the couch bouncing their chairs with my feet and getting nothing done.
Anyway- Today was the day in which 6 weeks of babies finally
caught up with me, and caught up with me hard. Luckily it is Sunday and Bill was here to take some of the
load off.
As for Bug, I think that she is going through her 6 week growth spurt. She has been absolutely miserable. The only thing that makes her happy is being
nursed. All she seemed to do today was
scream, fuss and cry. Nothing made her
happy. Not her bouncy seat, not my arms, not Bills arms, not our walk to the
store and certainly not the new swing I just shelled out $50.00 for. At one
point she even cried as she ate!
She is sleeping sweetly in my arms now; it is the first all
day she has seemed at peace. The poor little thing must be exhausted.
I hate the "cliché-ness" of it all, but looking at her little
face does make the absolute horror that was today a little more bearable.
I wish my camera was in arms reach so I could attempt to capture
her in this moment, though I know a photo would never do it justice.
No one
else could ever see her the way I do.
I can’t help but give her soft little kisses, even if it
risks waking her up.
Honestly? I’m a little terrified of this 8lb little
girl who can single handily bring me to my brink and back again.